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<p ><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" ><b >HR Humor is
brought to
you by <a href="http://www.hrbythehour.com" >HR by the Hour.</a
></b ></font ></p >
<p align="left" ><img
src="http://www.hr.com/hrcom/mailouts/hrp/oct082001/Funny1Graphic.jpg"
width="428" height="279" ></p >
<p >When is it "enough" employee survelliance?</p >
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<p align="left" ><a href="http://www.exitsquad.com" ><img
src="http://www.hr.com/hrcom/mailouts/hrp/oct082001/exitsquad125static.gif"
width="125" height="125" align="top" border="0" ></a ></p >
<p align="left" ><font size="2" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"
><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2" ><font face="Arial,
Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2" ><font size="2" face="Arial, Helvetica,
sans-serif" ><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2" ><font
face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2" ><font size="2" face="Arial,
Helvetica, sans-serif" ><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2"
><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2" ><b >Closing
branches or departments? <br >
Re-evaluating staff competitiveness? <br >
Potential legal battles?</b > <br >
The Exit Squad is an elite group of HR Professionals and
consultants
who can help you through the tough times: preparing exit
strategies,
outplacement programs, presenting termination notices and much
more.
<br >
Let us help you, visit <a
href="http://www.hr.com/hrcom/clickthru/clickthru.cfm?linkid=1022951003"
>www.exitsquad.com</a >,
or email <a href="mailto:sales@exitsquad.com"
>sales@exitsquad.com</a >.</font >
</font ></font ></font ></font ></font ></font ></font ></font
></p >
<p > </p >
<p align="left" ><a href="http://www.symphire.com" ><img
src="http://www.hr.com/hrcom/mailouts/hrp/oct082001/Symphire.jpg"
width="125" height="125" border="1" ></a ></p >
<p align="left" ><font size="2" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"
>Symphire
is transforming face-to-face recruiting. We use state-of-the-art
Internet
tools to source and identify candidates and mass amounts of local
advertising.
We currently have a number of offerings focused on Canadian
Healthcare
Professionals. Call toll free <b >866-836-6424</b > or email <a
href="mailto:ldiflorio@symphire.com" >ldiflorio@symphire.com</a ></font ></p
>
</div >
<p align="left" ><a href="http://www.hr.com/stevecabot" ><img
src="http://www.hr.com/hrcom/mailouts/hrp/oct082001/SteveCabot125.gif"
width="125" height="125" border="0" ></a ></p >
<p align="left" ><font size="2" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"
><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2" ><b ><a
href="http://www.hr.com/hrcom/clickthru/clickthru.cfm?linkid=1022921003"
>Steve
Cabot presents: Managing Workers in the Age of "Big Brother"</a ></b
><br >
Comprehensive strategies for building productivity, avoiding
litigation,
and protecting employee rights in the face of exploding workplace
technology.<br >
<b >PHILADELPHIA</b > <br >
November 2, 2001<br >
<b >BOSTON</b > <br >
November 13, 2001<br >
<b >TORONTO</b > <br >
November 20, 2001<br >
HR.com Paid Members receive an additional $75 off. Call
877-472-6648,
or email: <a href="mailto:seminars@hr.com" >seminars@hr.com</a
>.</font >
</font ></p >
<p align="left" ><font size="2" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" >
</font ></p >
<p > </p >
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<p align="left" ><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"
color="#CC0000" ><b >Need
Advice, Support and Expertise... </b ></font ><font face="Arial,
Helvetica, sans-serif" ><b ><font color="#000066" ><a
href="http://www.hrbythehour.com" ><br >
HR by the Hour</a > is the perfect match for you</font ></b ><br >
<font size="2" >HR by the Hour a new service designed for HR
managers,
SMEs, CEOs of small companies, or Line Managers. </font ></font
></p >
<p align="left" ><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" ><b
><font color="#000066" >Three
levels of service are available including: </font ></b ></font
><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" ><b ><font color="#CC0000" ><br >
Basic Fact Finding </font ></b ><br >
<font size="2" >Answers researched in our database, including
forms,
factual inquiries and articles. Examples:<br >
</font ></font ><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2"
>1.
What is the minimum wage in Arizona?<br >
2. I need a good article on competencies. <br >
3. I need a standard offer letter.<br >
4. What does a typical grade structure look like? </font ></p >
<p align="left" ><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" ><b
><font color="#CC0000" >HR
Services </font ></b ><br >
<font size="2" >Services delivered by phone or email and provided
by
a personnel officer. Examples: </font ></font ><font face="Arial,
Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2" ><br >
1. Writing Job Descriptions </font ><font face="Arial, Helvetica,
sans-serif" size="2" ><br >
2. Writing Policies and Procedures </font ><font face="Arial,
Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2" ><br >
3. Providing basic advice, e.g. Should I separate merit and cost
of
living increases or just lump them together?</font ></p >
<p align="left" ><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" ><b
><font color="#CC0000" >Expert
Advice </font ></b ><br >
<font size="2" >Service delivered by phone or email and provided
by a
senior HR consultant, or labor lawyer. Examples: </font ></font
><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2" ><br >
1. What should our pay policy be? </font ><font face="Arial,
Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2" ><br >
2. The IT manager wants to fire a staff member who was
"disrespectful".
What do I do? </font ><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"
size="2" ><br >
3. Would a Balanced Scorecard help us? </font ><font face="Arial,
Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2" ><br >
4. Which Applicant Tracking Systems should we shortlist? </font
><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2" ><br >
5. We're getting sued what should I do? </font ></p >
<p align="center" ><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" ><b
>Competitive
rates starting at $45/hour. Pay as you go!<br >
For more information email </b ></font > <b ><a
href="mailto:sales@hrbythehour.com" ><font face="Arial, Helvetica,
sans-serif" >sales@hrbythehour.com</font ></a >
<font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" ><b ><br >
or visit <a href="http://www.hrbythehour.com"
>www.hrbythehour.com</a ></b ></font ></b ></p >
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<td height="440" colspan="2" > <b ><br >
<font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" color="#CC0000" ><b ><font
size="4" >From
the Humor Files </font ></b ></font ><br >
<font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" ><b ><font color="#000066"
>Inspired
by actual anecdotes from Professionals</font ></b ></font ><br >
<br >
Dear Shirley B Nice:</b ><br >
We dismissed an individual for misuse of our agency credit card - he
was
captured on a grocery security video using the card to buy his
personal
groceries. He was prosecuted and convicted. A few months later, he
came
to our offices, confronted his former department head, and said he'd
like
to work for us again. She candidly told him that she was not
interested
in employing him, but that he was free to apply for jobs in other
departments.
He said he would - he'd be interested in working in maintenance, a job
that
would give him "more independence" . . . should we rehire him?<br >
<b >- Recruiter</b >
<p ><b >Dear Recruiter, </b ><br >
Its natural to want to give him a second chance but you know my
motto:
"The proof is in the pudding" and this one has proven to
be
a bad egg. Never burn your bridges, end this relationship on a
positive
note and send him off with a handshake and foodstamps.<br >
<b >- Shirley</b ></p >
<p ><b ><br >
</b ></p >
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<p ><img
src="http://www.hr.com/hrcom/mailouts/hrp/oct082001/ShirleyBNicePhoto.jpg"
width="100" height="100" ></p >
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<td width="233" height="165" >Shirley is the resident HR.com HR Manager.
Shirley
is ever so accommodating and tries to please everyone in the company.
She
sources faster than a speeding bullet, processes payroll with the
accuracy
of dart. Nothing phases Shirley she has seen it all in her career in
HR.
Shirley is happily married with 2 kids , 4 grandchildren and a pet dog
named
Rover. </td>
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