Pulling in a sort-of success story from another large project, I like the general way things happen in Django.
For developers proposing an idea or fixing a bug:
And for users seeking help or general discussion:
We've avoided using GitHub issues for Django, preferring the workflow tools we get from our own customized Trac instance.
I wonder whether something similar -- a real-time chat for discussion/sounding board/etc., mailing list to bring things to once they've been thought about a bit, public tracker for following work/archival purposes -- would work for packaging.
(I am also wary of too much "process"; Django has a fair bit, and more than I'd ideally like, but my experience has been that process and participation are generally inversely correlated)