[Chicago] Dec. meeting RSVPs - or - how to beat the security ninjas

[Christopher Allan Webber]

Hahahahaha

That's the funniest thing I've read on a mailing list for a while.

Josh Cronemeyer <jcroneme at thoughtworks.com> writes:

>> How can you thwart a ninja? I guess I'm a little confused about this.
>
> The AON security ninjas... Should I start from the beginning?  Yes? Ok. It is
> a looong story about ancient Japan.  Two warring feudal lords loved the same
> woman, Iwasaki. Both lords tried to win Iwasaki over with the traditional
> Japaneese gift of love: wooden clogs inlaid with a jade hello kitty.  Then on
> the day Iwasaki was to choose which lord to marry she died tragically of a
> hangnail caused by poorly fitted clogs.  Each of the lords blamed the other
> for her death and the bitter conflict that ensued instigated centuries of
> assasination and espionage. Long after both sides of the conflict were all
> killed the clans of ninjas that were involved, known as the Iwasaki ninjas,
> swore their allegiance to Iwasaki's family.  That family became wealthy and
> powerful, but during the 19th century the head of the Iwasaki family lost an
> epic game of flip cup to John D. Rockefeller.  The dishonor was so great that
> afterwards the allegiance of the Iwasaki ninjas transferred to Rockefeller.
>  The ninjas lived secretly in Rockefeller's mansion until Rockefeller's death.
>  In need of a place to live, they took over the newly constructed Standard Oil
> building here in Chicago.  They assumed responsibility for building security.
>  Forty years later their only allegiance is to the building and their union,
> the Local Ninjitsu 393.  When you arrive on Thursday, pay attention to the
> dozens of large gongs that line the walls.  Each gong represents a generation
> of Iwasaki ninjas.  DO NOT TOUCH THE GONGS.  A member of the Ruby User Group
> once rang a gong and he swallowed his own tounge under mysterious
> circumstances while giving a talk about ActiveRecord.  Detectives later found
> that one of his notecards had been altered to say:
>
> I need not your needles, they're needless to me;
> For kneading of noodles, 'twere needless, you see;
> But did my neat knickers but need to be kneed,
> I then should have need of your ninjas indeed.
>
> Frankly I wondered what he was talking about, but apparently that is the most
> deadly tongue twister known to man.  Since that day the poor fellow has been
> known in the ruby community as "Because, the unlucky stiff".
>
> Sorry for rambling...  You asked how to thwart a ninja, didn't you?  That is
> easy. You just give me your name on this mailing list and I'll add you to the
> international "I'm Down With The Ninjas" database.  
>
> Ask me anything.  I've got an answer ;)
>
> PEACE!
> Josh Cronemeyer
>
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