[Python-Dev] Python 2.1.1
Barry A. Warsaw
barry@digicool.com
Wed, 23 May 2001 16:52:22 -0400
>>>>> "TW" == Thomas Wouters <thomas@xs4all.net> writes:
TW> *Don't* get me started on that. If only Guido would stop
TW> hogging the damned thing, I could be a 34-year-old millionaire
TW> in a 10-room house and 8 girlfriends !
It's really not as easy as all that, though. When Guido's not around,
I've been known to, er, take The Machine for a spin (sshh! Do /not/
tell him!). The first time I did, I didn't realize that the blue
toggle had to be in the down position, and when I stepped out,
everybody was speaking Esperanto, had half their heads shaved, and
were toting around what looked like a cross between a dog and a beach
ball (it drooled incessantly).
Fortunately, The Machine has a reset button (oddly labeled "History
Erase Button" and guarded by a candy-crazed TV announcer-like
automaton who must be coaxed from the button with a marshmallow
s'more).
The second time I used it, I'd forgotten that you must keep your left
hand on the silver sphere while you line up the parallel lines with
the lip-actuated alpha wheel. Silly me, I'd removed my left hand just
before alignment in order to twist the fluroscopic reflection tube a
quarter rotation out of phase (rule of thumb: never listen to that
automaton when he's licked the last of the chocolate-y goo from his
fingers. He'll say anything to get another s'more.)
You really don't want to know what that particular world looked like,
but let's just say it involved lots and lots of angry elephants.
So now I leave well enough alone, and I've learned that if you really
want to change the past, just wait for Guido to use it for his own
nefarious purposes, and tape a sign to his back requesting the (very
modest) change to the continuum that you're looking for.
And don't forget to smear the front of that sign with s'more.
-Barry