ot: if i had a hammer (was: Python 1.6 ...)

Grant Griffin g2 at seebelow.org
Sun Sep 3 23:33:35 CEST 2000

Tim Peters wrote:
> [quite possibly Tim]
> > idiots-like-me
> [Alex <cut_me_out at hotmail.com>]
> > Someday, I hope to be an idiot like you.
> >
> > striking-my-head-with-a-hammer-<wink>-ly y'rs
> > Alex.
> Yes!  You're off to a great start.  My parents told me I never learned how
> to crawl.  Instead I slid around on my butt.  They said I liked scooting
> over to a wall or door, then bang my head on it relentlessly until they
> dragged me away in terror.  I still enjoy banging my head on walls, but
> don't do it often in public anymore.  Never occurred to me to use a hammer!
> It's a great idea -- thanks.

Here's another idea that my 6-month-old son just discovered.  <<cute
baby story--yawn!>>  He has just started to "pull up" on things, as many
self-respecting children that age do, as a precursor to walking.  Then,
sometimes he let's go and falls over backwards onto his little head.

The hammer thing sounds like a reasonable alternative to that, but I'm
afraid to give him one.  I had a bad hammer experience with my older son
when he was about that age.  My in-laws had given him one of those
little plastic tool sets, complete with little plastic hammer.  One day,
when I wasn't much paying attention, he just crawled right up and
"hammered" me.  Yup, you guessed it: he found my personal center of
precession.  Now I know how a baseball feels as it flies over the
rightfield wall.

All men have experienced this form of pain to lesser or greater
degrees.  They know that it is unique not just for its quantity but also
its quality: once it subsides, a man's instinctively seeks instant
vengeance.  But I shall be forever proud of the fact that I was able to
retain my objectivity in that moment and _not_ retaliate against my
little son's innocent, unintended act; the blame, if any, goes to my
inexperience as a father: _experienced_ fathers know that the very first
rule of fatherhood is "protect your nads".

Still, one can't be objective for much more than a moment.  When my
in-laws had their first son, we gave him a little tool set for his first
birthday.  And I personally checked it to make sure that it included a
little plastic hammer.

hoping-their-kid-becomes-the-next-'babe-ruth'-ly y'rs,


Grant R. Griffin                                       g2 at dspguru.com
Publisher of dspGuru                           http://www.dspguru.com
Iowegian International Corporation	      http://www.iowegian.com

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