Time for a Fresh Scheme Standard: Say Goodbye to the RnRS Relic

Erik Naggum erik at naggum.net
Sun Dec 23 02:25:38 EST 2001

* markj+0111 at cloaked.freeserve.co.uk (MJ Ray)
| Oh joy.  I thought I saw the last Naggum post when I unsubbed from
| comp.lang.lisp.

  It was one of your own (David Rush) who called on me, blaming me for his
  serious coping problems when that New Scheme fellow posted some heretical
  comments that could threaten to undo the universe as he knew it.  I am
  sure that the Scheme religion needs a Devil figure and that you guys are
  so irrational as to blame the Devil when you need to explain some of the
  otherwise _inexplicable_ evil that happens to you (like reality invading
  your nice little theories), but if I wanted to undo the Scheme community,
  nobody would know it had even existed, OK?  Such are my evil powers.  I
  _let_ you insufferable little freaks continue to have your community,
  because you do less harm believing in and being preoccupied with Scheme
  than if you were roaming free.  Or perhaps this Devil imagery that you
  guys seem to need is a bit stale and idiotic?

| Are you still sore that Scheme is installed on far more computers than
| oxymoronically-named "Common" Lisp?

  No, never was.  On the contrary, I am quite happy that all those who
  install Common Lisp systems actually use them productively.

  Have you thought about how _necessary_ it is for you Scheme freaks to be
  hostile to those who do not agree with you?  E.g., where _did_ the stupid
  need to attack Common Lisp now come from?  So immature and vindictive!

  On the other hand, if you suffer form Perl envy, I am sure that it is
  natural to think that other language communities must suffer from similar
  problems, but so far, we have had a large number of Scheme freaks invade
  Common Lisp fora to tell us how superior Scheme is, while no Common Lisp
  programmers invade Scheme camps to tell you how good Common Lisp is.  Why
  is this?  Well, we know that Common Lisp is better than Scheme, and so do
  you, so there is no need to repeat the obvious, but any clueless Scheme
  freak who feels the urge to rebel against authority and common sense must
  try to provoke those better than him.  That is why you had to include
  that stupid attack on Common Lisp, too.  So immature.  So Scheme.

  Incidentally, are you still raping preschool children?  Scheme is the
  favorite language of pedophiles, who love the pure and small, you know.

| The Scheme community is a warm and welcoming place compared to the Common
| Lisp one, I think.

  Of course you think so.  But let us ask this New Scheme fellow, or any of
  the other people that Scheme freaks routinely attack on no basis at all.
  Why did your David Rush need to attack me this time, for instance?  Why
  did you have to attack Common Lisp?  I have not done anything to you
  insane fucks, but you nutballs need no provocation to attack me.  Why?
  Do you think normal, sane people behave the way you do?

  Anyone can see that a community of people who condone and support attacks
  on others behind their back is neither warm nor welcome, no matter how
  much you wish to be and lie that you are.  Most religions have been warm
  and welcome to those likely to be duped by their gospel, and extremely
  hostile to those who would be a threat to them.  Which one of them would
  say that some _other_ religion is more warm and welcoming than they are?
  So this vacuous phrase is sheer marketing.  When you need to engage in
  such marketing, you must know that you have a shitty product that nobody
  would buy if they knew the truth about it.  What a scheme!

| The the open, academic-yet-practical, friendly spirit of Lisp lives on in
| comp.lang.scheme and numerous general lisp mailing lists.

  Of course you believe this.  You have chased away every free-thinking
  person who has ever discarded Scheme and you display _such_ hatred of
  non-believers that you are like the biological end result of in-breeding.
  The people who come to you in the first place are already converts and
  are unlikely to question the gospel.  Those who do not like Scheme do not
  exactly have to deal with you -- which is also why you Scheme freaks have
  to come to Common Lisp groups and fora and make a stupid scene.

| We just don't like anonymous posters saying that we got it all wrong.

  Are you sure that is what he said?  Are you sure that those who do not
  believe in the Scheme religion would react the same way?  Have you found
  a rational person you could ask how would react to that article?  I would
  bet that not a single rational person would say that you got it all wrong
  -- on the contrary, a reasonable reading is you got it right _eons_ ago,
  but now you need do something more to keep doing the right thing.  Of
  course, a card-carrying Scheme nutcase would feel all defensive only if
  he _knew_ that his favorite religion was all wrong, and therefore needs
  to stop people from figuring it out.  That is how organized religions
  have reacted to "heretics" for ages.

  It is quite amazing how fanatic and stupid you Scheme freaks are.  Of
  course you think you are friendly -- you only have people around you who
  are in complete agreement on something _really_ stupid, and _anybody_ is
  all friendly when they are never challenged by disagreement of any kind,
  but challenge you guys and one gets to see what you are really made of:
  Just watch David Rush in action, or your opening line.  Just look at how
  you treat people who disagree with your beliefs!

  But trust me on this: Unless that psychotic David Rush character had been
  so amazingly stupid as to blame me for this, _and_ that New Scheme fellow
  had cross-posted it back to the newsgroups that coward little shit David
  Rush did _not_ post to, none of this would have happened.  Perhaps you
  friendly Scheme freaks need to purge your own evils and excommunicate the
  worst among your own?  I would have started by frying David Rushs' balls.

  It is increasingly obvious that Scheme is a mental disease, particularly
  since you mental cases always make a point out of attacking non-believers
  out of the blue.  They do not even have to be posting to your newsgroup!

  The past is not more important than the future, despite what your culture
  has taught you.  Your future observations, conclusions, and beliefs are
  more important to you than those in your past ever will be.  The world is
  changing so fast the balance between the past and the future has shifted.

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