20 Stages of Perl to Python Conversion
imbosol at vt.edu
Thu Aug 15 23:27:30 CEST 2002
I posted this awhile ago in another newsgroup when a minor religious
flame war broke out. I thought yuns might get a smile out of it. Or
maybe not. Have fun.
20 Stages of Perl to Python Conversion
1. See a reference to Python being compared favorably to Perl. Think
to yourself, "another stupid little language that thinks it's better
than Perl." Ignore it. Repeat many times.
2. After seeing some reference to Python, decide, "what the hell, I'll
have a look."
3. Take a look at the language. Start with the tutorial. Become
utterly aghast at the use of indentation for nesting. Think, "Where
are the braces? Where are the begin and end statements?" Recall the
horrors of Fortran 77. Spaghetti code. Fixed column format. Think
about running away screaming.
4. Decide instead to push on in disbelief. Encounter the part of the
tutorial about modules. Become utterly aghast that Python does not
place high importance on data hiding. Think, "Python not supporting
data hiding goes against every fundamental principle of object
oriented programming I know (especially since I've also been led to
believe C++ is the beginning and end of OOP)."
5. Run away screaming.
6. Time passes.
7. Realize that you'd overreacted. Think, "Python probably does have
it's place. It's still no Perl."
8. See another reference to Python, this time even more favorable than
before. Decide to give it another try, and maybe this time write some
code instead of just follow the tutorial.
9. Pick some little project, some little easy thing, you've been
meaning to do. Get to work on it in Python.
10. About halfway through the project, come to the sudden and ironic
realization that the use indentation for nesting, which you had
thought would you would never get used to, has become natural.
11. Finish the project with only the typical minor difficulties
involved in learning a new language, but without any major hair
12. Acknowledge to yourself that Python is quite nice. Admit that
there are some things about it better than Perl. Acknowledge that it
is certainly better looking. Decide to use it again. Think, "It's
still no Perl."
13. Use Python again the next day for a slightly larger proejct. Only
yesterday, you would have chosen Perl for this project without another
thought. Even after finishing the previous day's little project in
Python, you had briefly considered using Python for this larger one,
but decided to use Perl because it was too large to attempt with a
language you were unfamiliar with. Today, however, you decide to use
Python anyways. Python seems strangely alluring to you. Rationalize
this by telling yourself that a larger project such as this is a good
way to learn Python faster. Think, "It's still no Perl."
14. Time passes. Life happens. Choose Python for several little
projects that come along, all for the purpose of learning it better.
Think, "Python is still no Perl."
15. Encounter a project much larger than anything you've used Python
for yet. Decide, "OK, I've been using and liking Python for all these
little projects I've been doing. Now that I have a much harder and
larger project, it is time to use the proven workhorse, Perl, a
language I am very familiar with and one that is ideally suited for
16. Begin the project in Perl.
17. After writing about ten lines, begin pulling out your hair.
Become disgusted at the ugly travesty your fingers just produced.
Recall the horrors of Perl. Poor indentation. Ambiguous semantics.
Line noise. That section in the Perl man page where it gives several
examples of "good ways" to implement a switch statement, while
discouraging the most straightforward way. Think, "I cannot believe
I've been swallowing this garbage for years. What a masochist I was.
I was being screwed over by this pitiful hack of a language for all
that time, and I loved it."
17. Run away screaming.
18. Finish the project in Python.
19. Refect upon your experience. Realize the dissidence of your
former admiration of Perl. Remember the occasions where you would
have questioned some of the now obvious design flaws in Perl, but
didn't, because Perl was everything cool, and everyone was using it.
Think, "Python is still no Perl. Thank God."
20. (Optional) Log on to your favorite chat room, and never miss an
opportunity to plug your new favorite language. Because your typical
style is to use understatement, your firm and absolute devotion to
Python will be perceived as a very strong message, that will make
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