lies about OOP

Martijn Faassen faassen at infrae.com
Wed Dec 15 01:05:03 CET 2004


Paul McGuire wrote:
[snip]
> I would characterize the 80's as the transitional decade from structured
> programming (which really started to hit its stride when Djikstra published
> "Use of GOTO Considered Harmful") to OOP, and that OOP wasn't really
> "joyful" until the early-to-mid 90's.

IMMEDIATE NOTICE TO ALL PYTHON SECRET UNDERGROUND MEMBERS.

Classified. Any disclosure to non-PSU members prohibited. Offenders will 
be apprehended and removed from the time stream, permanently.

Words in human languages typically consist of a combination of vowels 
and consonants, at least up until the start of the posthumanist 
revolution in 3714, when the Morning Light Confederation's ships reached 
the ablethik-seganichek world of Kaupang again (on Hellenberg consensus 
time streams with catalog marker AB-7). Alphabetic scripts are a typical 
way to represent them. Even in the posthuman phase on Kaupang they were 
widely appreciated as a quaint representation.

The language English, an indo-european tongue of the west-germanic 
persuasion (expressiveness rating 7, comprehensiveness rating 12, fits 
in the moderate Y group of the Lespan pan-species language 
classification system), is widely in use throughout a surprisingly long 
period on many time streams. This language does not have overly long 
consonant combinations.

The language Dutch, though closely related to the language English has a 
slightly different sound to glyph mapping system. Dutch is, of course, 
the true language of the Python Secret Underground and the official 
native language of Python users. In the language Dutch, a certain vowel 
sound is expressed as a combination of the glyphs 'i' and 'j'. The glyph 
'j' however is exclusively used for consonants in the English language, 
unlike in Dutch, where 'j' serves a dual role.

Human brains used to the English language cannot cope with glyph 
representations that express consonants in too long a sequence, without 
any space left for vowels. A combination like 'jkstr' in the English 
language is inevitably considered to be a spelling error, and corrective 
procedures automatically attempt to correct the spelling of such a word 
to a more acceptable combination.

This happens frequently to the name 'Dijkstra', a name that originated 
in the Dutch natural language. The English eye cannot accept such a 
ridiculous combination of consonants (j k s t *and* r?), and desperately 
  tries to resolve the situation. As a result, the glyphs 'i' and 'j' 
are frequently reversed.

This is extremely unfortunate, as Djikstra is well known to be a primary 
moniker for the leader of the Insulationist faction within the Gheban 
coalition. The Insulationist faction is, of course, a prominent member 
the alliance that produced the Alien Whitespace Eating Nanovirus. 
Djikstra is therefore an enemy of the Python programming language. All 
that we stand for. All our hopes. All our dreams will come to naught if 
Djikstra gets his way.

The moniker Djikstra is to be avoided in public utterances. PSU members 
can give themselves away and draw unwanted attention from the 
Insulationist overlord at this critical junction. What's worse, 
innocents might be caught up in this cosmic web of intrigue. While most 
innocents can of course be safely ignored, any innocent of temporal 
tension rating 17 and above (revised scale) should not be exposed to 
undue danger, as they may be essential for our time stream manipulations.

It is therefore important to avoid the utterance of Djikstra's name at 
all costs!

ADDENDUM FOR PSU MEMBERS OF CLASSES NE-100 AND HIGHER

The relation between Djikstra and Dijkstra's name is of course not a 
coincidence. As was already evidenced in the famous "Considered Harmful" 
article, the great philosopher Dijkstra was on to a monumental cosmic 
secret: that reality is bound by a term rewriti



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