lies about OOP
faassen at infrae.com
Wed Dec 15 01:05:03 CET 2004
Paul McGuire wrote:
> I would characterize the 80's as the transitional decade from structured
> programming (which really started to hit its stride when Djikstra published
> "Use of GOTO Considered Harmful") to OOP, and that OOP wasn't really
> "joyful" until the early-to-mid 90's.
IMMEDIATE NOTICE TO ALL PYTHON SECRET UNDERGROUND MEMBERS.
Classified. Any disclosure to non-PSU members prohibited. Offenders will
be apprehended and removed from the time stream, permanently.
Words in human languages typically consist of a combination of vowels
and consonants, at least up until the start of the posthumanist
revolution in 3714, when the Morning Light Confederation's ships reached
the ablethik-seganichek world of Kaupang again (on Hellenberg consensus
time streams with catalog marker AB-7). Alphabetic scripts are a typical
way to represent them. Even in the posthuman phase on Kaupang they were
widely appreciated as a quaint representation.
The language English, an indo-european tongue of the west-germanic
persuasion (expressiveness rating 7, comprehensiveness rating 12, fits
in the moderate Y group of the Lespan pan-species language
classification system), is widely in use throughout a surprisingly long
period on many time streams. This language does not have overly long
The language Dutch, though closely related to the language English has a
slightly different sound to glyph mapping system. Dutch is, of course,
the true language of the Python Secret Underground and the official
native language of Python users. In the language Dutch, a certain vowel
sound is expressed as a combination of the glyphs 'i' and 'j'. The glyph
'j' however is exclusively used for consonants in the English language,
unlike in Dutch, where 'j' serves a dual role.
Human brains used to the English language cannot cope with glyph
representations that express consonants in too long a sequence, without
any space left for vowels. A combination like 'jkstr' in the English
language is inevitably considered to be a spelling error, and corrective
procedures automatically attempt to correct the spelling of such a word
to a more acceptable combination.
This happens frequently to the name 'Dijkstra', a name that originated
in the Dutch natural language. The English eye cannot accept such a
ridiculous combination of consonants (j k s t *and* r?), and desperately
tries to resolve the situation. As a result, the glyphs 'i' and 'j'
are frequently reversed.
This is extremely unfortunate, as Djikstra is well known to be a primary
moniker for the leader of the Insulationist faction within the Gheban
coalition. The Insulationist faction is, of course, a prominent member
the alliance that produced the Alien Whitespace Eating Nanovirus.
Djikstra is therefore an enemy of the Python programming language. All
that we stand for. All our hopes. All our dreams will come to naught if
Djikstra gets his way.
The moniker Djikstra is to be avoided in public utterances. PSU members
can give themselves away and draw unwanted attention from the
Insulationist overlord at this critical junction. What's worse,
innocents might be caught up in this cosmic web of intrigue. While most
innocents can of course be safely ignored, any innocent of temporal
tension rating 17 and above (revised scale) should not be exposed to
undue danger, as they may be essential for our time stream manipulations.
It is therefore important to avoid the utterance of Djikstra's name at
ADDENDUM FOR PSU MEMBERS OF CLASSES NE-100 AND HIGHER
The relation between Djikstra and Dijkstra's name is of course not a
coincidence. As was already evidenced in the famous "Considered Harmful"
article, the great philosopher Dijkstra was on to a monumental cosmic
secret: that reality is bound by a term rewriti
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