put your money where your mouse is, or why I prefer Spanish to English: a proposal

John Benson jsbenson at bensonsystems.com
Fri Mar 12 05:37:31 CET 2004

Everybody talks about how much better Python is than Lisp, C++, Java or
whatever else because it's so much cleaner, looks like pseudocode only it's
executable and all the cool guys are using it because of this and other

I propose that we change the language of this board to Spanish, as long as
we're so vocally committed to using best-of-breed languages. Derived from
the Iberian dialect of vulgar Latin, Spanish has many important advantages
over English:

1) It's executable phonetic code: how it's written is how you pronounce it.
English suffers from a bewildering array of rules and counterexamples in
matters of pronunciation.

2) It's a widely supported standard. A Spanish speaker from Tierra del Fuego
can understand somebody from Madrid with little difficulty. Many dialects of
English, however, are often incomprehensible to other English speakers, like
Cockney, 'Strine and HBHE (High-Baudrate Hindustani English).

3) Spanish has less monosyllabic words than English. Programmers paid by the
hour should be intrigued by this opportunity to augment their income. Also,
the same amount of actual progress will take longer to report, conveying the
impression that more has actually been accomplished.

4) It hasn't been thrown together from the motley of influences that make
English such a potpourri (from the French for "rotten stew"). Oops! Like I
said, English is too much a patchwork of other languages to qualify as a
natural venue for Pythonic discourse.

& cetera.

Thinly-veiled threat: If this board doesn't immediately cut over to Spanish
because it is obviously superior to English, I shall be forced to consider
its badmouthing of other computer languages as just so much small-minded
special pleading.

P.S. The fact that I have an M.A. in Spanish has nothing to do with the fact
that Spanish is the best language for this board. I have recommended it
solely on its obvious and indisputable merits. In the spirit of magnanimity,
however, I will state in advance that anyone who disagrees with me is more
to be pitied than censured.

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