[Chicago] Dec. meeting RSVPs - or - how to beat the security ninjas
jcroneme at thoughtworks.com
Tue Dec 2 21:37:50 CET 2008
> How can you thwart a ninja? I guess I'm a little confused about this.
The AON security ninjas... Should I start from the beginning? Yes? Ok. It
is a looong story about ancient Japan. Two warring feudal lords loved the
same woman, Iwasaki. Both lords tried to win Iwasaki over with the
traditional Japaneese gift of love: wooden clogs inlaid with a jade hello
kitty. Then on the day Iwasaki was to choose which lord to marry she died
tragically of a hangnail caused by poorly fitted clogs. Each of the lords
blamed the other for her death and the bitter conflict that ensued
instigated centuries of assasination and espionage. Long after both sides
of the conflict were all killed the clans of ninjas that were involved,
known as the Iwasaki ninjas, swore their allegiance to Iwasaki's family.
That family became wealthy and powerful, but during the 19th century the
head of the Iwasaki family lost an epic game of flip cup to John D.
Rockefeller. The dishonor was so great that afterwards the allegiance of
the Iwasaki ninjas transferred to Rockefeller. The ninjas lived secretly
in Rockefeller's mansion until Rockefeller's death. In need of a place to
live, they took over the newly constructed Standard Oil building here in
Chicago. They assumed responsibility for building security. Forty years
later their only allegiance is to the building and their union, the Local
Ninjitsu 393. When you arrive on Thursday, pay attention to the dozens of
large gongs that line the walls. Each gong represents a generation of
Iwasaki ninjas. DO NOT TOUCH THE GONGS. A member of the Ruby User Group
once rang a gong and he swallowed his own tounge under mysterious
circumstances while giving a talk about ActiveRecord. Detectives later
found that one of his notecards had been altered to say:
I need not your needles, they're needless to me;
For kneading of noodles, 'twere needless, you see;
But did my neat knickers but need to be kneed,
I then should have need of your ninjas indeed.
Frankly I wondered what he was talking about, but apparently that is the
most deadly tongue twister known to man. Since that day the poor fellow
has been known in the ruby community as "Because, the unlucky stiff".
Sorry for rambling... You asked how to thwart a ninja, didn't you? That
is easy. You just give me your name on this mailing list and I'll add you
to the international "I'm Down With The Ninjas" database.
Ask me anything. I've got an answer ;)
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