[Mailman-Users] OT: light-hearted unsubscriptions

Bob Puff@NLE bob at nleaudio.com
Fri Jun 15 19:01:00 CEST 2001

ALl this talk recently about unsubscriptions... This came from another list I am on:

Message: 27
Date: Thu, 14 Jun 2001 16:17:20 -0700
To: interchange-users at developer.akopia.com
From: Dan B <db at cyclonehq.dnsalias.net>
Subject: Re: [ic] (no subject)
Cc: danb at cyclonecomputers.com
Reply-To: interchange-users at lists.akopia.com

At 10:30 AM 6/14/2001 -0400, you wrote:
>I want to "Unsubscripe" too :)
>Steingrimur Steingrimsson wrote:
> >
> > Unsubscripe

Definition: un-sub-scrip-e:

abbr. United Nations.

sub1 (sb)
n. Informal See submarine. See submarine. See Regional Note at submarine.

scrip3 (skrp)
n. Archaic
A wallet, small satchel, or bag.

earl (ûrl)
n. A British nobleman next in rank above a viscount and below a marquis, 
corresponding to a count in continental Europe. Abbr. E. Used as a title 
for such a nobleman.
Obviously, Mr. Steingrimsson and Mr. Johnson are British 
spies!  ("noblemen", a common term for spies).  And they are using the 
public interchange-users mailing list to send secret messages!!!  Luckily, 
I have decoded their secret message:

         "British Noblemen: use bags to conceal the UN submarines!"

We must act now!  The only tool that can save us is the infamous 
Unsubscription kit!

Unsubscribe Kit(TM)

    Call your ISP and ask them to Mail you an Unsubscribe Kit.

    It should be the standard no-fault type. Depending on your 
requirements, System A and/or System B can be used. When operating System 
A, depress lever and a plastic dalkron unsubscriber will be dispensed 
through the slot immediately underneath. When you have fastened the 
adhesive lip, attach connection marked by the large "X" outlet hose. Twist 
the silver-colored ring one inch below the connection point until you feel 
it lock.

    The kit is now ready for use. The Cin-Eliminator is activated by the 
small switch on the lip. When securing, twist the ring back to its initial 
condition, so that the two orange lines meet. Disconnect. Place the dalkron 
unsubscriber in the vacuum receptacle to the rear. Activate by pressing the 
blue button.

    The controls for System B are located on the opposite side. The red 
release switch places the Cin-Eliminator into position; it can be adjusted 
manually up or down by pressing the blue manual release button. The opening 
is self-adjusting. To secure after use, press the green button, which 
simultaneously activates the evaporator and returns the Cin-Eliminator to 
its storage position.

    You may log off if the green exit light is on over the evaporator. If 
the red light is illuminated, one of the Cin-Eliminator requirements has 
not been properly implemented. Press the "List Guy" call button on the 
right of the evaporator. He will secure all facilities from his control panel.

    To use the Auto-Unsub, first undress and place all your clothes in the 
clothes rack. Put on the velcro slippers located in the cabinet immediately 
below. Enter the shower, taking the entire kit with you. On the control 
panel to your upper right upon entering you will see a "Shower seal" 
button. Press to activate. A green light will then be  illuminated 
immediately below. On the intensity knob, select the desired setting. Now 
depress the Auto-Unsub activation lever. Bathe normally.

    The Auto-Unsub will automatically go off after three minutes unless you 
activate the "Manual off" override switch by flipping it up. When you are 
ready to leave, press the blue "Shower seal" release button. The door will 
open and you may leave. Please remove the velcro slippers and place them in 
their container.

    If you prefer the ultrasonic log-off mode, press the indicated blue 
button. When the twin panels open, pull forward by rings A & B. The knob to 
the left, just below the blue light, has three settings, low, medium or 
high. For normal use, the medium setting is suggested.

    After these settings have been made, you can activate the device by 
switching to the "ON" position the clearly marked red switch. If during the 
unsubscribing operation, you wish to change the settings, place the "manual 
off" override switch in the "OFF" position. You may now make the change and 
repeat the cycle. When the green exit light goes on, you may log off and 
have lunch. Please close the door behind you.

Because hey, when it rains it pours (bad jokes, that is).

Dan Browning, Cyclone Computer Systems, danb at cyclonecomputers.com

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